Back to Home
Relationships: Seven Suggestions for
a Lasting and Loving Commitment
Is It Possible to Remain Special
to Each Other
Even After Several Years of Being Together as a Couple?
© Nancy Wesson, Ph.D.
It is possible to have a successful relationship
and to remain special to each other even after many years
of being together. However you must be willing to cultivate
and build your relationship. The couple relationship itself
has it's own needs and when these are met, the relationship
will creatively evolve over time. Here are seven suggestions
for the creation and cultivation of a lasting relationship.
- There will be many times in a relationship when individual
concerns will need to be set aside for the best interests
of the relationship. Be willing to allow this to happen and
the relationship will blossom. An example might be to give
up working late in order to meet your spouse/partner for
a special dinner.
- Feelings are the "language of the soul" and
daily personal communication is the essence of a lasting
relationship. By expressing feelings and mutually sharing
everyday experiences and problems, you develop emotional
- Keep the friendship alive! Work, family, and friends
present many pressing demands, but there is no replacement
for alone time together when you can be playmates,
and a romantic couple, at any age. I know someone who
has been married for 35 years. Recently, her husband
surreptitiously planned and arranged for them to take
a "mystery" trip for her birthday.
They had a wonderful adventure together.
- Try to see conflict as a positive force that helps the
relationship grow. Disagreements do not damage a relationship,
harsh words do. When we express ourselves honestly in a relationship
and feel supported for doing so, we not only enhance the
closeness but we also move more quickly towards compromise.
- Avoid blaming your partner for personal unhappiness. You
need to know, apart from the relationship, if you are unhappy
and whether or not your life is working well for you.
- Practice "change by invitation." Invite your
partner to change rather than demanding it. Loving, honest
statements about problems and concerns are much more effective
than angry demands. "It would really help me if you
- Seek professional help for the relationship as you would
for any important matter in your life.
A commitment or marriage ceremony takes place on just one
wonderful day, learning to love in a deep way and creating
a successful relationship takes place over many years and
is the hardest, most important, and most rewarding work you
will ever do.
For an appointment for counseling for relationship issues, shyness,
self-esteem issues, codependency, or other psychological concerns call or text:
Dr. Nancy Wesson at (650) 965-7332 • E-mail Dr.
Professional background & approach to counseling
of Nancy Wesson, Ph.D.